2009 - Mantra Motto Mission

The New Year happens again and my resolutions too (in no particular order but I like my 13th one):

1. Say a “NO” more often and not be concerned if someone is hurt by the riposte. A “NO” spat on the face.
2. Grab success by its collars and drag down till it is owned. No beating around the bush with the “Karma” crap.
3. Believe and worship the “honesty with a twist” principle. To begin with, sign the rent receipts myself for the IT proofs.
4. Love the Akon and the Nellys. You are the greatest icons with soul quivering music and heart melting lyrics. Himesh goes in the closet. KK who?
5. Be animated and excited like the Sagarika Ghoses.
6. Act cool and à la mode with a refurbished wardrobe. Love the Tommy vests and the Benetton boxers waving a high through the pants below the a**. The stud, bandana and tattoo to match. Abhor the Rupas and Goyals.
7. Act classy and be bossy.
8. Less indulgence in pleasure. No listening to the mood and disposition. Pragmatic, PRAGMATIC, PRAGMATIC yeah.
9. Earn more and think less. No teaching the unprivileged kids any more.
10. Appreciate incessantly till the feeling is honored and established.
11. Learn to flaunt and flaunt hard. The CoA factor will come by.
12. Believe that an occasional lie never harmed anyone. Excuses will be accentuated.
13. Be Evil and think Wicked.

Profound thoughts ... You and I

Like an aaloo to a vada
And a vada to a pav
like the pav to a bhaaji
You are to Me.

Like a tree to the air
and the air to a nose
Like the nose to a Himesh
You are to Me.

Like a fuel to an engine
and an engine to a car
like the broken car to a mechanic
You are to Me.

Like a key to a lock
and a lock to a house
like the house to a robber
You are to Me.

Like cotton to a pillow
and a pillow to a bed
Like the bed to a lazy bum
You are to Me.

Like the water to the grass
and the grass to a cow
like the cow to a milkman
You are to Me.

Like the fire to a match
and a match to a bidi
like a bidi to a smoker
You are to Me.

Like the carbon to a diamond
and a diamond to a stud
like a stud to a cool dude
You are to Me.

You mean more to me ...

than a fish to a Cat
and a bone to a dog
the hay to a horse
and happiness to a remorse.

Let's be happy forever. I Love you. Sayonee.

~Suprabhat
(a letter to a Loved one)

Candid Conversations with Capil

Category: Personal

Following is an intensely personal post and any resemblance to persons in real life may be coincidental. Readers not able to correlate with the ideas may please choose to ignore the post. Others may choose to browse through the mostly harmless contents.

The protagonist Capil is an imaginary character marked with immense wit, wry humour and an occasional characteristic baloney dialogue which you will love nevertheless.


Scene: Project party with the unit heads and drinks on the menu to go with.
(Question addressed to Capil from one of the unit heads as he is sitting next to him)
FG: What does RS do?
(Intended question is, I have heard lots about RS, what does he work on?
(RS is a manager of high repute in the organization)
Capil: RS does his own work!
(A splendid answer indeed after a couple of margaritas!)
Follow up: FG gulps down the rest of his drink and has an expression that tells he doesn’t know how to respond, but looks in admiration at Capil.

Scene: Capil leaving for work with a non-ironed shirt (trademark)
SM: Capil, your shirt is crumpled from behind, I guess it needs an ironing.
Capil: Cool hai, I am taking my car, it will get pressed by the time I reach office.
[I leave the rest (ironing the front side) to your wild imaginations]
Follow up: SM decides to buy a car and save on the efforts of daily ironing.


Scene: Hanging out with friends over casual talks. Topic of discussion being how do we know the extent of ones hanging belly.
Capil: See, if the Emp id tag hangs at an angle from the vertical reference, be sure that you have a protruding belly, else if hanging vertical you are on the safe side.
Even a structural engineer will have goosebumps hearing this and think of his incompetence in coming up with such ingenious ideas.
Follow up: Everyone tries to immediately straighten their tags as much as possible, taking a deep breath!


Scene: Capil driving home during twilight and rides a buffalo on his car bonnet, inspite of being a driver extraordinaire.
The next day:
Capil: Yesterday, during the night I could not see very well, though I was driving very slow a black coloured cow came in front of my vehicle and I couldn’t see the cow (since it was black) and drove right through.
Follow up: The cow thanks Capil for the warm gesture and moos away!
Such an animal lover he is, giving free rides to cows in the night. How noble.


Scene: At a party (in a much frequented restaurant) with AJ who is getting married shortly.
Capil: What will happen of you when you are married and are here. You will have a tuff time. What drink are you going to order then, cos he invariably brings your fav drink without ordering ;)?
(during normal times AJ orders alcoholic beverages)
AJ: When I get married and come over here I would order for two mango lassis.
Capil: He he, then the owner would ask “Kya aapki wife do do lassi piyengi”?
Follow up: AJ thinks it is a valid point and he has to come up with a different idea now!


Scene: Antakshari, letter “Ka”
Capil: Kajrare kajrare tere kaale kaale naina ...
Scene: Antakshari continues, letter “Ma”
Capil: Mera chain wain sab ujada ...
Follow up: Junta is inspired by the innovation and tries the same funda over other songs!


Orkut: Favourite cuisine.
Capil: Long drinks/cocktails/Whisky On the rocks

Orkut: Favourite tv shows.
Capil: Sansani, Vardaat, Kaal Kapaal mahakaal, Kahani Ghar ghar ki, Kussum, KSBKBT, Kumkum, Koi to hai, kora kagaz, Kavya-Anjali
(Capil has a great fascination for the letter K, though his name starts with C, doesn’t matter though, the phonetics are the same)
Follow up: the TRP ratings of the above has soared since Capil has published his likings!

Orkut: About Me
Capil: I m a good boy with bad habits and bitter taste
(Capil has put up the above caption in his matrimonial column, and the ladies are pouring in lrc, bowled over by his honesty)

Capil also has three look-alikes and the four hang out together most often. Not all of them are as smart as Capil though. On the frame below (a painting that shows how the Capil’s would have looked in real life). Capil, our hero, is at your extreme right, smiling as there is no tomorrow.

Readers are welcome to add to this imaginary script and pour in their ideas. And do remember that “Sab bakwaas hai”.

Watch out this space for more. Coming up sometime soon: Candid Conversations with Candya.