What more can one ask for? Behind the steering wheels of your favourite car (ambassador), listening to your favourite music in repeat mode (Aashiq banaya aapne remix version) and with the best of friends/family to accompany on a 100km stretch of 6 lane highway. Nothing more indeed. However one is disheartened if the above arrangement is not to the avail. Well, you don’t mind settling for a subtly less glamourous Audi convertible and Dire Straits/Kishore playing in the background do you?
Glamourous it may be, but not always, considering the several woes that are invariably associated with driving on city roads. Some universal truths and best practices:
If you believe a lady (irrespective of age, and ofcourse beauty) driving a two wheeler in the front, you ought to have a paradigm shift in your beliefs. This elite class tends to change directions (mirrors are a ladies best friend, but not on road) and accelerate that will put a F12 fighter pilot to shame and make him go back to the training sessions. Beauty and brains converge to reflect the above truth while they drive.
Best Practice: With all due respect to the lady, cautiously overtake with an occasional horn so you don’t have to panic when the inevitable turning happens.
Senior citizens crossing the roads tend to cross looking straight ahead and never to their left or right. They need a lesson in the same class as nursery students, learning the basics of crossing a road.
Best Practice: At any point of time, of them crossing the road, do not blow the horn, else they would stop right in the middle and look at you with an enviable benevolence. The wise thing to do is to slow down, let them pass by and you are clear.
Kids do not differentiate between crossing a road and a 100m athletic sprint. They are guided by the constant motive and urge of beating the vehicle. To give the passing vehicle some footage they start the dash as late as possible (They are a fair game after all) and as abruptly as a gun shot.
Best Practice: The farther away you spot the kids’ gang, the better. They are likely to cross anytime before you reach them but not thereafter. So take off your toes from the accelerator and lay them on the brakes till the kids have crossed.
Nearing an Auto rickshaw should be avoided like a fuel from a wild fire. There is every chance that they corner you and give your new and precious car the need for a nice little face lift. The extent of use of an indicator in an auto or the signaling by hand is as frequent as the use of water in a European WC/toilet.
Best Practice: Keep a distance from the flying object as much as possible from the behind or while overtaking sideways. They are deaf to horns and incessant honk will have absolutely no impact, other than your partner getting down and taking the auto instead.
Other than these, there are other traveling woes which you will or would have faced sometime or the other in your driving career!
Back seat driving – Watch out there is a hump ahead; why don’t you put the indicator here; there is a lorry in the rear; there is a lorry in the front; I can see some kids ahead; the lights are red, halt; go slow, do not overtake; okay, now you should overtake, you can put on the high beam now. And the likes. Makes one feel like opening the door and jumping out.
Traffic lights are still counting 3, 2 ... and the driver in the rear vehicle honking like his pants are on fire.
Traffic lights are still orange and the vehicle on your front already sped away only to slow down a while later and you conveniently overtaking it (I choose to forgive these impulsive drivers).
Your partner constantly skips your favourite music playing (Himesh) with some weird choices of soft romantic (how very unromantic).
Vehicles coming off the opposite with high beam and if not on high beam then with only their left headlight on (who will take the trouble of fixing it as long as one of them glows!).
Vehicles on the front moving at the speed comparable to a grandpa walking with his grandchildren and not bothering to take the efforts of changing lanes.
Glamourous it may be, but not always, considering the several woes that are invariably associated with driving on city roads. Some universal truths and best practices:
If you believe a lady (irrespective of age, and ofcourse beauty) driving a two wheeler in the front, you ought to have a paradigm shift in your beliefs. This elite class tends to change directions (mirrors are a ladies best friend, but not on road) and accelerate that will put a F12 fighter pilot to shame and make him go back to the training sessions. Beauty and brains converge to reflect the above truth while they drive.
Best Practice: With all due respect to the lady, cautiously overtake with an occasional horn so you don’t have to panic when the inevitable turning happens.
Senior citizens crossing the roads tend to cross looking straight ahead and never to their left or right. They need a lesson in the same class as nursery students, learning the basics of crossing a road.
Best Practice: At any point of time, of them crossing the road, do not blow the horn, else they would stop right in the middle and look at you with an enviable benevolence. The wise thing to do is to slow down, let them pass by and you are clear.
Kids do not differentiate between crossing a road and a 100m athletic sprint. They are guided by the constant motive and urge of beating the vehicle. To give the passing vehicle some footage they start the dash as late as possible (They are a fair game after all) and as abruptly as a gun shot.
Best Practice: The farther away you spot the kids’ gang, the better. They are likely to cross anytime before you reach them but not thereafter. So take off your toes from the accelerator and lay them on the brakes till the kids have crossed.
Nearing an Auto rickshaw should be avoided like a fuel from a wild fire. There is every chance that they corner you and give your new and precious car the need for a nice little face lift. The extent of use of an indicator in an auto or the signaling by hand is as frequent as the use of water in a European WC/toilet.
Best Practice: Keep a distance from the flying object as much as possible from the behind or while overtaking sideways. They are deaf to horns and incessant honk will have absolutely no impact, other than your partner getting down and taking the auto instead.
Other than these, there are other traveling woes which you will or would have faced sometime or the other in your driving career!
Back seat driving – Watch out there is a hump ahead; why don’t you put the indicator here; there is a lorry in the rear; there is a lorry in the front; I can see some kids ahead; the lights are red, halt; go slow, do not overtake; okay, now you should overtake, you can put on the high beam now. And the likes. Makes one feel like opening the door and jumping out.
Traffic lights are still counting 3, 2 ... and the driver in the rear vehicle honking like his pants are on fire.
Traffic lights are still orange and the vehicle on your front already sped away only to slow down a while later and you conveniently overtaking it (I choose to forgive these impulsive drivers).
Your partner constantly skips your favourite music playing (Himesh) with some weird choices of soft romantic (how very unromantic).
Vehicles coming off the opposite with high beam and if not on high beam then with only their left headlight on (who will take the trouble of fixing it as long as one of them glows!).
Vehicles on the front moving at the speed comparable to a grandpa walking with his grandchildren and not bothering to take the efforts of changing lanes.
---------------
Inspite of the despair, driving shall nevertheless be a pleasure as long one drives his choicest cars, can listen to good music, chat with close ones and drive to his favourite destinations.
Inspite of the despair, driving shall nevertheless be a pleasure as long one drives his choicest cars, can listen to good music, chat with close ones and drive to his favourite destinations.
6 comments:
So how are your swift moves on Mysore streets? I've heard that you're giving rides to 4 girls. Three at the back and 1 in the front and sometimes the girls drive too when you want to squeeze in on the back seat. :)
I am enjoying driving too. With lesser skilled drivers or non drivers who cannot prompt me from the back seat even if I go over the curb a few times or think its India and drive on the left :)
Please do not expose me in public, you know these things are strictly hush hush. The ladies wouldnt want me to squeeze in the back any more if this is let out ;) Now you know why the swift moves are so elegant.
Hey good aps, good that there is no Rohit driving Kapil's car from the back seat while you are in the driver seat (way back from the visit to Bahubali) :)
Hey Suppi,
Welcome back to blogging.I think u r getting regular now.Good.
N bought a car 2. Congrats man.
The stories are simply hilarious, more so as they come with some wit n humour.
I'm in India these dayz, lets catch up s.times. my no. is 99860-10595.
cya then,
Asset
Here I am, On the road again
There I am, Up on the stage
There I go, Playin' star again
There I go, Turn the page.
Hey Metallica fan, typo
Here I go, Playing star again
great post suprabhat! you left out parking woes, i have quite a few, particularly why it is so difficult for me to realise that when you turn the steering to left in the reverse gear the car still veers to the left and not to right as i foolishly expect it!!!
Post a Comment