Monday, October 23, 2006

Don - the chase fails


Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, namumkin hai. These words echo in the ears and would do so for years to come, thanks to the immortal character sketched in the yesteryears.

The classic had three singular characters played by Amitabh. One where he plays the Don, the second being the simpleton Vijay and the third a surrogate enacting the Don’s characters. The incorrigible rogue with his suave mannerisms and sinuous acts of crime; the naïve simpleton with his country side roots and a soft corner for the children; and the precocious surrogate who dons the Don’s shoes were like three sides of the same coin! The most difficult of the trio was playing the third character where the audience visualizes the simpleton in him and realizes that he is actually enacting a character, whereas the gang in the cinema is to believe that he indeed is the Don. An amazingly complicated acting portfolio which was acted to perfection.

The revised Don had this aspect completely missing in the movie. This however may be pardoned considering that the protagonist is played not by Amitabh but SRK and because of the twist in the storyline. Even if the storyline was kept the same I have my doubts if it could ever have been played even a trifle close to the original. In an attempt to add sophistication to the character Farhan misses on “developing” the Don’s character and rather devotes in style content. For instance the scene with Don in the tub and grin to the takes of Tom and Jerry adds nothing to the character but only reflects an incomplete attempt to establish a non existent character. The style factor could not however outweigh the poor characterization. The imperative character of JJ leaves no impact whatsoever in the new version. Somebody once said that Arjun Rampal can be replaced with a chair in all his movies. An example is Don.

Impressed by the sheer prominence of the character (that one has perhaps revered in his childhood) does not entitle him to remake a masterpiece. But hold on. Farhan in his televised interview stated that this is not a remake but his “interpretation” of the movie Don. If at all this is an interpretation then why are the key monologues from the original version lifted like Roma airlifts the entire van to add vanity and style. To top it the entire soundtrack is copied with minor variations adding techno beats and a few added stanzas. And if it indeed is a remake then why the original plot is tinkered with beats me.

An earnest attempt has been made by Farhan Akhtar to impart his interpretation of Don which falls flat on its back. No doubt he was taken in by the audacity of the character, the immortal dialogues and the amazing soundtrack and got lured to interpret it on his own. But sorry Farhan, your interpretation is abysmal to say the least and any attempt to vindicate your plot through post release interviews will add no value to your misadventure.

Salute to Salim-Javed for the screenplay/dialogues, Chandra Barot for the direction and Kalyanji-Anandji for the music of this 1978 masterpiece.

Don banana mushkil hi nahi, namumkin hai.

This is not a movie review or the nuances of acting and the histrionics of the actors, but an “interpretation” of the idea behind Version 2.0

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Shore Temple - Mahabalipuram


KshatriyaSimhesvara and RajaSimhesvara collectively called "Shore Temple".

Built by King Narasimha Varman II (AD 700-728) of the Pallava Dynasty.

Location: 45 Kms south to Chennai.

The two sanctorums are dedicated to Lord Vishnu and Lord Shiva. The east facing KshatriyaSimhesvara also has the santum enshrining Somaskanda (Lord Shiva/Som, Goddess Uma/Parvati and son Skanda)




A beautiful place overlooking The Bay of Bengal that was built to catch the first rays of the rising sun.





Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Behind the Wheels

What more can one ask for? Behind the steering wheels of your favourite car (ambassador), listening to your favourite music in repeat mode (Aashiq banaya aapne remix version) and with the best of friends/family to accompany on a 100km stretch of 6 lane highway. Nothing more indeed. However one is disheartened if the above arrangement is not to the avail. Well, you don’t mind settling for a subtly less glamourous Audi convertible and Dire Straits/Kishore playing in the background do you?

Glamourous it may be, but not always, considering the several woes that are invariably associated with driving on city roads. Some universal truths and best practices:

If you believe a lady (irrespective of age, and ofcourse beauty) driving a two wheeler in the front, you ought to have a paradigm shift in your beliefs. This elite class tends to change directions (mirrors are a ladies best friend, but not on road) and accelerate that will put a F12 fighter pilot to shame and make him go back to the training sessions. Beauty and brains converge to reflect the above truth while they drive.
Best Practice: With all due respect to the lady, cautiously overtake with an occasional horn so you don’t have to panic when the inevitable turning happens.

Senior citizens crossing the roads tend to cross looking straight ahead and never to their left or right. They need a lesson in the same class as nursery students, learning the basics of crossing a road.
Best Practice: At any point of time, of them crossing the road, do not blow the horn, else they would stop right in the middle and look at you with an enviable benevolence. The wise thing to do is to slow down, let them pass by and you are clear.

Kids do not differentiate between crossing a road and a 100m athletic sprint. They are guided by the constant motive and urge of beating the vehicle. To give the passing vehicle some footage they start the dash as late as possible (They are a fair game after all) and as abruptly as a gun shot.
Best Practice: The farther away you spot the kids’ gang, the better. They are likely to cross anytime before you reach them but not thereafter. So take off your toes from the accelerator and lay them on the brakes till the kids have crossed.

Nearing an Auto rickshaw should be avoided like a fuel from a wild fire. There is every chance that they corner you and give your new and precious car the need for a nice little face lift. The extent of use of an indicator in an auto or the signaling by hand is as frequent as the use of water in a European WC/toilet.
Best Practice: Keep a distance from the flying object as much as possible from the behind or while overtaking sideways. They are deaf to horns and incessant honk will have absolutely no impact, other than your partner getting down and taking the auto instead.

Other than these, there are other traveling woes which you will or would have faced sometime or the other in your driving career!

Back seat driving – Watch out there is a hump ahead; why don’t you put the indicator here; there is a lorry in the rear; there is a lorry in the front; I can see some kids ahead; the lights are red, halt; go slow, do not overtake; okay, now you should overtake, you can put on the high beam now. And the likes. Makes one feel like opening the door and jumping out.

Traffic lights are still counting 3, 2 ... and the driver in the rear vehicle honking like his pants are on fire.

Traffic lights are still orange and the vehicle on your front already sped away only to slow down a while later and you conveniently overtaking it (I choose to forgive these impulsive drivers).

Your partner constantly skips your favourite music playing (Himesh) with some weird choices of soft romantic (how very unromantic).

Vehicles coming off the opposite with high beam and if not on high beam then with only their left headlight on (who will take the trouble of fixing it as long as one of them glows!).

Vehicles on the front moving at the speed comparable to a grandpa walking with his grandchildren and not bothering to take the efforts of changing lanes.
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Inspite of the despair, driving shall nevertheless be a pleasure as long one drives his choicest cars, can listen to good music, chat with close ones and drive to his favourite destinations.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Candid Conversations with Capil

Category: Personal

Following is an intensely personal post and any resemblance to persons in real life may be coincidental. Readers not able to correlate with the ideas may please choose to ignore the post. Others may choose to browse through the mostly harmless contents.

The protagonist Capil is an imaginary character marked with immense wit, wry humour and an occasional characteristic baloney dialogue which you will love nevertheless.


Scene: Project party with the unit heads and drinks on the menu to go with.
(Question addressed to Capil from one of the unit heads as he is sitting next to him)
FG: What does RS do?
(Intended question is, I have heard lots about RS, what does he work on?
(RS is a manager of high repute in the organization)
Capil: RS does his own work!
(A splendid answer indeed after a couple of margaritas!)
Follow up: FG gulps down the rest of his drink and has an expression that tells he doesn’t know how to respond, but looks in admiration at Capil.

Scene: Capil leaving for work with a non-ironed shirt (trademark)
SM: Capil, your shirt is crumpled from behind, I guess it needs an ironing.
Capil: Cool hai, I am taking my car, it will get pressed by the time I reach office.
[I leave the rest (ironing the front side) to your wild imaginations]
Follow up: SM decides to buy a car and save on the efforts of daily ironing.


Scene: Hanging out with friends over casual talks. Topic of discussion being how do we know the extent of ones hanging belly.
Capil: See, if the Emp id tag hangs at an angle from the vertical reference, be sure that you have a protruding belly, else if hanging vertical you are on the safe side.
Even a structural engineer will have goosebumps hearing this and think of his incompetence in coming up with such ingenious ideas.
Follow up: Everyone tries to immediately straighten their tags as much as possible, taking a deep breath!


Scene: Capil driving home during twilight and rides a buffalo on his car bonnet, inspite of being a driver extraordinaire.
The next day:
Capil: Yesterday, during the night I could not see very well, though I was driving very slow a black coloured cow came in front of my vehicle and I couldn’t see the cow (since it was black) and drove right through.
Follow up: The cow thanks Capil for the warm gesture and moos away!
Such an animal lover he is, giving free rides to cows in the night. How noble.


Scene: At a party (in a much frequented restaurant) with AJ who is getting married shortly.
Capil: What will happen of you when you are married and are here. You will have a tuff time. What drink are you going to order then, cos he invariably brings your fav drink without ordering ;)?
(during normal times AJ orders alcoholic beverages)
AJ: When I get married and come over here I would order for two mango lassis.
Capil: He he, then the owner would ask “Kya aapki wife do do lassi piyengi”?
Follow up: AJ thinks it is a valid point and he has to come up with a different idea now!


Scene: Antakshari, letter “Ka”
Capil: Kajrare kajrare tere kaale kaale naina ...
Scene: Antakshari continues, letter “Ma”
Capil: Mera chain wain sab ujada ...
Follow up: Junta is inspired by the innovation and tries the same funda over other songs!


Orkut: Favourite cuisine.
Capil: Long drinks/cocktails/Whisky On the rocks

Orkut: Favourite tv shows.
Capil: Sansani, Vardaat, Kaal Kapaal mahakaal, Kahani Ghar ghar ki, Kussum, KSBKBT, Kumkum, Koi to hai, kora kagaz, Kavya-Anjali
(Capil has a great fascination for the letter K, though his name starts with C, doesn’t matter though, the phonetics are the same)
Follow up: the TRP ratings of the above has soared since Capil has published his likings!

Orkut: About Me
Capil: I m a good boy with bad habits and bitter taste
(Capil has put up the above caption in his matrimonial column, and the ladies are pouring in lrc, bowled over by his honesty)

Capil also has three look-alikes and the four hang out together most often. Not all of them are as smart as Capil though. On the frame below (a painting that shows how the Capil’s would have looked in real life). Capil, our hero, is at your extreme right, smiling as there is no tomorrow.

Readers are welcome to add to this imaginary script and pour in their ideas. And do remember that “Sab bakwaas hai”.

Watch out this space for more. Coming up sometime soon: Candid Conversations with Candya.

Friday, July 28, 2006

The Singing Sensation ...

and the phenomenon called Himesh Reshammiya has indeed done a greater good to the Indian music arena in the last eight years than perhaps all the music directors put together. With implausible vocals and a non- cacophonic music score, he is the darling of the music aficionados and the masses alike including me. The composure in the voice and with its wide range has earned him laurels throughout and will do so down the years. We ought not to question the cult status he has achieved harboring the immense and unique talent of his.

He started off producing tele serials like Andaz (Zee TV) and had the noble idea of composing for his own serials thus gifting the Indian audience the opportunity to enjoy his work. How noble was the decision is apparent today after he has entered the world of movie background score and also lend his impeccable voice.

Naam tera tera ... is one of his recent chart toppers. Undoubtedly so. The genuine and original add of the nasal septum to the voice is unparalleled. Imagine a bull roaring through the nostrils in melancholy. Sad and outrageous at the same time, with a reiteration of the main “raga” time and again reminding the audience of the depth of the song and lyrics like a hypnotic act. Go to any hip pub in the city and you wouldn’t be back with a remix version of Aashiq banaya apne and Woh lamhe and watching the maddening crowd dancing to his tunes. Oh, those lamhe’s are a bliss.

Do not be surprised if he takes to acting sooner or later. He is sure to get a break after his outstanding performance in one of his compositions Tu yaad na aaye aisa koi din nahi. The partisans of Vijendra Ghadge of yesteryears, Atul Agnihotri and Arjun Rampal of recent times and a Mohit Alawat(James fame) off late may beware, Himesh will give them the run for their money once he is into his acting shoes. I am waiting for a movie with the lead actor adorned by Himesh more than I wait for the next Karan Johar flick.

If I am saying that it is the best music of next year then see I have to face you people also. So, I know ki joote bhi pad sakte hain. So, itne confidence se kah raha hoon to sure hoon to kah raha hoon. (I know I can be a flop. But I am saying it with so much confidence as I know I will be a hit)”. This is what he had to say about his release “Namsate London” next year.Such is the confidence of his that he predicts the popularity of his forthcoming releases with such ease. No doubt he has understood the pulse of the audience more than Sameer has realized the audience’s love of his lyrics.

Just let any other singer of the high league sing the song Love you unconditionally Soniye and he is bound to take a hundred tries just to get the mukhda right. But Himesh sings it with such ease and finesse that you remain glued and avert all your desire to change the channel at once.

What have you done to me? I remain eternally glued to the television on hearing a Ahista ahista and a tera suroor and it requires a Shivvardhan Trivedi(of Sansani fame) to get me back on track to the real world! Thank you. Love you unconditionally.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The Pride of a Man !

The tuft of hair that adorns the upper lip of men is often debated to be the highest echelons of Pride in him. No doubt it is, and will be for ages to come. Of what else can a man be identified more, than this beauty of a god’s creation that sits candidly on his lip and hangs around him equally in times of elation and distress?

What a pen means to a paper, an icing means to a cake, a stereo to a dash board, and a key to a safe? So is also Man’s beauty, which is incomplete without this phenomenon known as a Moustache. Hairs and the government come and fall, skin and the trees wrinkles, memory and friends die, relations and beliefs break, jobs and money are lost, the woman leaves, children forget, times fly but the Moustache clings on to the man till he dies. And all this without a thing sought in return except an occasional trim here and a whisk there. This dogged persistence through ages and the humble part it plays in enriching a Man’s appeal makes it the object of pride and possession. Without doubt.

The women with the clichéd rant that the tache of a Man is a bottleneck to the second best thing their lips are made for, are vehemently selfish. How they would like a man to do away with his lifetime possession for a momentary bliss is beyond belief. It is strange but true that they do admire their father and grandpa who sport one, but when it comes to their love interest the views are the opposite. Now the ladies may argue why the king of hearts is the only one without moustache and what makes him the “King of hearts” different from the rest. Well, they do not realize the difference between a man in flesh and blood with his golden heart and a sincere moustache and the hearts of a pack of filthy cards designed to gamble the last blood of him. Reprehensible.

Mahatma Gandhi, Adolf Hitler, Charlie Chaplin, Nietzsche and Einstein are a few names to reckon when it comes to this debate. Some of these great men are known for their distinct styles of moustache. Can one imagine an Einstein or a Nietzsche without his moustache at any point of their lives? Never.
Some of my personal favourites are the handlebar sported by Mangal Pandey(that I would have loved to wear if not for this hard and cruel corporate world that mocks anything which is out of the league and draws attention) and the Nosebeard sported by a young Einstein (and which I sport now). Apart from this the other styles worth a praise are the Walrus(Nietzsche) and the toothbrush(Hitler and Chalpin). Some of the other common ones are the Pencil(looks like a draw with a pencil) and the Manchu (flowing like a stream down the sides and long like the roots of a banyan). Incredible aura.




There are several advantages other than to embellish a Man’s look. The mouth is guarded from a perennially running nose or tears flowing the cheeks (yes, the strongest of men do cry), a baby in arms gets the pleasure of playing with it and a heart warming tickle in the cheeks when kissed (one does always see the jubilation on the face of the baby when this happens). It is a neighbour’s envy (who does not own one) and the owner’s pride. Beep -> Some men have a better source to play with and caress at leisure <- Beep. The list goes on and will require a book to do justice.

This aura and pride will continue with mankind as long as noble and great men will choose to take this legacy of growing a moustache and teach the generations to come of its virtues. Long live such men and their legacy!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Todays, how I wish were yesterdays.

The days were glorious when learning was all that easy. Be it a new song, derived formulae, a new game of cards or board, a new lesson in music, a new language or a new script. It came all naturally enough not to pay a wee bit of second efforts in gaining the master hand. And definitely it was the master hand and not something half hearted and abridged. The days of sinuous fingers, precocious grey matter and a zealous mind. The syndicate of the three was indeed glorious.

I am not so sure if the same holds any good today. Time takes its toll and fast does it do. It now takes twice and more of sustained efforts to reach the same level of subtlety. The zealous mind isn’t all that zealous, the grey matter precocious but not at the same briskness, and the fingers not all that dexterous. All this flashes in my mind when I am playing an instrument today, trying to play with a clinical engineer's mind rather than that of an artist's soul. I am feeling the lack of skill and the desire, I once boasted like a virtuoso.

Todays, how I wish were yesterdays.